i've just realised, once a cold war is started, or a quarrel or unhappy feelings have erupted...
even if the anger and heat cools down and we pretend that nothing has ever happened..
it'll still feel awkward..and the scar and memory will always remain..
maybe we wont be able to go back to where it was when we would laugh and joke. cos whenever i try to talk or joke or even laugh with that person again, a part of me in my mind will be thinking, "maybe you shouldnt say this. later she gets angry like last time again." or a part of me will be holding back my self from getting myself too involved or having too much fun in the conversation with that person, fearing that i might offend her again.
but i hope we still can . cos friendship is precious and hard to find. and it's not just normal friendship but closer kinship. really really close friends.
maybe i should keep my mouth shut from now onwards and not crack so much jokes or get so cranky and "laughy"...
i should try to understand that some people just get offended easily and they cant stand things while some people can...
especially when you hang around too much with that person, u will start to realise his/her bad points and maybe begin to dislike her more.
absence makes the heart grow fonder i guess.
that's why i've always preferred to be a loner. to be alone. so that i dont have to worry about saying the wrong things or having to talk or "entertain" other people when i dont feel like it ..
aniwaes... arghhhhssss!